Virtual vs real friends

A recent survey says people are happier
and laugh 50% more when talking to a
friend face-to-face. So, it's safe to
conclude that virtual friendships don't
count any more
It's the same scenario with most of us.
We have hundreds of — some even have
1,000-plus — friends on social
networking sites, but only a handful of
'real' ones. Real friends whom we hang
out with, share personal details and
spend quality time with. And yet, we
keep chatting with our virtual friends
on social networking sites almost on a
daily basis, instead of nurturing real
friendships.
A recent survey concluded that virtual
friends don't count. People are happier
and laugh 50% more when talking to a
friend face-to-face. Also, people find
that the most satisfying relationships
are with a handful of close friends, with
an 'outer ring' of 10 significant others.
Case in point
Nicole Cyrus, 26, banker, has more than
800 friends on a social networking
website. "I have way too many friends
on my list, but since I don't open up
easily, I have few friends who really
understand me. So, it is important for
me to interact with those friends and I
make it a point to do so. Even if it
wouldn't be a face-to-face interaction, I
make sure I keep in touch," says she.
For instance, Nicole videochats with her
best friend who stays in Australia, at
least once every week, if not more. She
also keeps in touch with other close
friends, via phone. "But yes, I guess
face-to-face interaction is way more
important than just virtual friendship
and relationship," she concludes.
Virtual friends are no substitute for real
ones
Friends on social networking sites
cannot be a substitute for real friends,
says psychologist Mansi Hasan, adding,
"Social networking sites are the easiest
way to keep in touch with those
countless people, who we wouldn't be
able to keep in touch with due to our
busy lives. However, the 'emotional
touch' cannot be easily replaced by
internet chats, comments and posts."
Hasan says research does suggest that
non-verbal and verbal cues both
contribute towards creating a
connection between two people. The
real connection only clicks when we are
able to experience that friendship in
person, otherwise it's like experiencing
a vacation through a virtual tour.
No face-to-face talks on social networking
sites
Clinical psychologist Johann Thomas
also agrees that friends on social
networking sites cannot be a substitute
for real friends. The reason is, no
amount of virtual friendships will ever
prepare us for direct interaction with
others. "It is also possible that most
people who are comfortable making
friends virtually do so because it gives
them an option of avoiding face-to-face
(FTF) contact with others. They are
worried about negative conclusions
being drawn about them in a FTF
meeting where they will not be able to
hide their drawbacks (awkward
mannerisms, speech deficits, language
difficulty, etc.). Typing online also gives
people time to respond, which is a
luxury we don't have in FTF
communications. This lack of time also
reveals our lack of wit and poise in FTF
(which we do not want to be known),"
he explains.
Face-to-face interactions are more
satisfying
According to the study, people are
happier and laugh 50% more when
talking face-to-face with friends or via
webcam than when using social
networking sites. Thomas explains,
"The reason could be that human brain
reads subliminal cues while interacting
face-to-face, which go beyond the
individual reading of gestures, facial
expressions and words. This integration
helps us to better understand what the
others are saying or hiding."
Talking on phone/texting vs sharing a smile
The study also said that talking on the
phone and texting does not make people
feel as good as sharing a smile. "One
reason for this is that the majority of
processing is done by our vision and we
are heavily dependent on sight. Due to
this, we have to rely on seeing the
genuineness of others' affect (outward
expression of internal emotion)," says
Thomas.